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lyrics

BRIAN:
*Dialogue

First you must gather the appropriate supplies,
a weapon and some gloves, and a convincing disguise.

Then you sneak over to the scene of the crime.

Once it’s very late, that’s when it’s framing time.

*Dialogue

Make sure you're walking on your tippy tippy toes,
and move really sneaky, just like the pros.
Your chance of success can only increase,
if you think ahead about what to say to the police.

*Dialogue

I’m becoming an expert at a new skill!
Framing Chad for murder gives me a thrill.
Grisham was right, what an interesting twist.

Now what’s next on the list?!



Next up, make sure that you have a snack
,
you need your energy to stay on track. 

You should eat it sneakily, don’t make a sound,

but still enjoy the flavor, don’t wolf it down!

Back to the crime, let's cut to the chase.
You should 
pick a location where the act took place.

Put Chad’s hat by the knife, so he gets blamed.

And just like that, he has been fram- murdered?!?! 


What the heck
? What the freaking heck
!?
A janitor with blood around his neck
.
Well I expect an explanation. What is this termination?

Double check the situation...
what the heck?!



Who cleans up the janitor when the janitor is dead? 

Who is going to take a mop and wipe up all that red? 

Who's behind the mess that from here will only spread?

Who cleans up the janitor when the janitor is dead?




Brian calm down, Brian calm down. 

Maybe you need a snack. 
NO!
That would not help, 
how would that help? 

Besides I already had my snack. 

So, what should I do? What should I do?

I should call 9-1-1
. NO!

I should not be here!
 Why would I be here?
My options are slim to none.

Brian calm down, Ryan, Calm down! 

Keep everything under control.

Take everything slow, no one needs to know,

except I think I’m gonna tell Coal!


credits

from AMERICAN SMOOTHIE: Original Cast Recording, released September 23, 2014

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AMERICAN SMOOTHIE: A Fresh New Musical Comedy

This is the first full-length musical from the writing team of Nick Jester and David von Kampen.

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